Realization

Those who know me well, know that I am not passionate about one thing. I am not a master at one thing, rather a jack of many trades. I am very far from being religious by any means. I just lead my life by always trying to do the right thing. Some people would describe me as a "Square" or "Boring." I am never offended because I know I can lay my head down at night comfortably.

Recently, I have been exploring various philosophies and religions. I am a baptized Catholic, not by choice. My father is Catholic and my mother is Buddhist. I was exposed to both religions fairly, not with one being mightier than the other. As a child I never understood a word the Father spoke in church, because I do not fully comprehend Vietnamese. So like any other child on a Sunday morning, I just nodded off for that hour. I enjoyed visiting the Buddhist temples, but once again, I never fully understood the concept of the religion, because of the language barrier. We just prayed and bowed our heads because that was what we were supposed to do. Simple.

Now that I am an adult, I do have a choice of what religion I want to affiliate myself with.

I was introduced to Greg Laurie of the Harvest Church in Riverside by a good friend of mine. I decided to give him a try. Hey, I can't knock it until I try it. I have been listening to his pod casts on the Harvest website. His words usually inspired and motivated me. This past Sunday's podcast frightened and angered me. These vivid emotions brought me back to ground.

Laurie spoke about how when HE comes it will be around the time when the world is at turmoil. He stated facts about the Middle East, Egypt, the economy, society as a whole. Since the turn of the new century, we hear many different stories of how the end of human existence will look like; for example, the Mayan Calender ends in 2012 and Nostradamus' prophecies. It is just a bit too much for me. Laurie also stated that when HE comes it will be somewhat of a domino effect of major world events. Hmmm.. thinking back..it has almost been 10 years since the event (9/11/2010) occurred. There have been so many world catastrophes since than.

This scared me because I have planned my entire life out. I do want to be married, I do want to have children, I do want to see my children grow and have their own families, I do want to be a grandparent, I do want to live until I am old and gray, I do want to enjoy my life in the profession I chose and worked hard for.

This might sound a bit ridiculous, but I remember telling my self that I cannot do anything too risky. Anything which heightens my risk of dying, is something I never consider doing. I thought if I died now, I will totally be angry at myself, because I didn't get to achieve everything that I wanted to do for myself.

Then I became angry at society as a whole. Look at how our world is now. You cannot turn on the television without seeing something vulgar, there is a lot of societal acceptance of things which should not be accepted, our values of a society are virtually nonexistent, many people are fighting over things because of their pride and not what is right, and money is the core of many things evil.

All of these things that I was witnessing my my lifetime were coincided with everything that Laurie was stating!

That was when I grew quiet. I thought about this for a long time and came to the conclusion that I was at peace with myself. It is okay if Armageddon is approaching. Although, I do not live my life by the BOOK, I believe that as a whole I am a good person. I am selfless and not selfish, I am thankful and not ungrateful, I am appreciative and not vindictive, I am loving and not distrustful, I am understanding and not judgemental.

At that point I knew I was going to be OKAY...